


Goodbye Is Not Forever

by Lokidog



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Episode Related, Friendship, Gen, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-05-13
Updated: 2008-05-13
Packaged: 2018-12-17 17:29:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11856276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokidog/pseuds/Lokidog
Summary: Daniel says goodbye to his grandfather and Jack is there to help.





	Goodbye Is Not Forever

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Yuma, the archivist: this work was originally archived at [Stargatefan.com](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Stargatefan.com). To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [StargateFan Archive Collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/StargateFan_Archive_Collection).

**Goodbye Is Not Forever ******

****

****Doctor Daniel Jackson sat in the rear of the plane, mulling over SG-1's visit to his grandfather while his friends and teammates, oblivious to his presence, sat near the front. Seeing his grandfather, Nicholas Ballard, for the first time in four years had been both uplifting and unsettling. In spite of his grandfather's refusal to adopt him when his parents died, Daniel never stopped loving the old man. Nick had chosen his research over raising Daniel, but he had suffered greatly. Twenty years ago, he voluntarily entered a psychiatric facility, no longer able to cope with his obsession of the crystal skull he found in Belize, and his belief in its powers of teleportation to another world. _Twenty years institutionalized._ Daniel shivered and closed his eyes.** **

****"They're out there, Nick. Aliens. Billions of them," he said aloud, knowing no one could hear him.** **

****Sudden laughter caused Daniel's eyes to snap open. What were they laughing about? Were they laughing at Nick? An irrational wave of anger washed over Daniel, but it dissipated as quickly as it came. His friends flew to Oregon to seek his grandfather's help, not to ridicule him.** **

****Daniel stood up and went to sit closer to his friends.** **

****"The old guy's definitely got a stubborn streak in him," Jack said. "Now we know where Daniel gets it."** **

****"I'm not stubborn," Daniel glowered. "I'm tenacious."** **

****"Daniel Jackson is indeed formidable in his tenacity," Teal'c remarked.** **

****"Thank you, Teal'c," Daniel said gratefully.** **

****"We will find him, won't we sir?" Sam asked.** **

****"We'll find him, Carter," Jack said firmly. "But the next time he runs off to stare into the eyes of something, zat him."** **

****"Hey," Daniel frowned, as Sam laughed and Teal'c smiled. "That's not funny."** **

****"Gotta give him credit though," Jack said. "Old Nick's in a psychiatric institution because he claimed he stared into the eyes of a crystal skull and was beamed over to some giant aliens. So, what's the first thing Daniel does when he sees the crystal skull?"** **

****"He stared into its eyes, O'Neill," Teal'c thrummed quietly.** **

****"To prove his grandfather was right," Sam added.** **

****"That's our Daniel," Jack said fondly.** **

****"Perhaps Daniel Jackson is with these giant aliens," Teal'c suggested.** **

****"Maybe," Jack said, "but wherever he is, he better remember we won't stop looking for him."** **

****"He remembers, Jack," Daniel said, his voice tight with emotion. A voice, only he could hear.** **

***************** **

****"Well, a very close friend of mine is lost and he needs my help," General George Hammond said gently. "Yes, he's a very close friend."** **

****If Daniel had any doubts about General Hammond's acceptance of a civilian on a top ranking military team, they were now gone and never to return. His inadvertent eavesdropping on the general's conversation with his granddaughter opened Daniel's eyes to the general's compassion and commitment to the men and women under his command. Daniel felt humble and blessed. He truly had a family at Stargate Command, and thanks to Jack and General Hammond, his only blood relative would soon be here, too.** **

*************** **

****Although it took very little effort on Jack's part to convince General Hammond to allow Nicholas Ballard access to Cheyenne Mountain, convincing the older man's doctors he would be in safe hands with the US Air Force was another matter altogether. Apparently, it was one thing to check yourself into a medical facility, but quite another to check yourself out, especially after twenty years. However, thanks to Ballard obstinacy and Hammond charm, Nick was en route to the mountain.** **

****************** **

****Daniel's adrenaline was pumping as he followed Jack and Sam. They had just finished listening to Nick describe the giant cavern on P7X 377 and the pedestal on which they found the crystal skull. True, Nick didn't know the skull came from another planet, but that was a moot point. He had been there and they were finally getting somewhere, or so Daniel thought. He stared incredulously as Jack and Sam bid each other goodnight. The elevator door closed on San and Jack turned to leave.** **

****"What? Wait-wait, that's-that's it? Whatever happened to working through the night?" Daniel asked as he watched Jack walk down the corridor. "I'd do it for you," he added, his voice fading. Jack disappeared around the corner. "Oh, no, you're not getting off that easy, Jack," Daniel muttered as he ran to catch up to his friend. "I can't believe you're calling it a night. Weren't you listening to Nick? He was there, Jack. How else could he describe the cavern in such detail? Sure, you think he's nuts, but you think I'm nuts, too and you listen to me...sometimes...I think. Hey, where are you going?" he asked curiously as Jack seemed to wander aimlessly.** **

*********** **

****"May I ask about the mark on your forehead?" Nick asked as Teal'c escorted him to his VIP room.** **

****"It is a mark of slavery to false gods," Teal'c replied sombrely.** **

****"I see," Nick said thoughtfully. "You are not American."** **

****"I am not."** **

****"From Africa?"** **

****"I am from Chulak," Teal'c answered.** **

****"Chulak?" Nick frowned. "I am not familiar with that name."** **

****"You would not be," Teal'c said.** **

****Nick looked askance at Teal'c, but he remained silent.** **

****"How long have you known my grandson?" Nick asked, changing the subject.** **

****"Three years," Teal'c replied.** **

****"Not a long time," Nick remarked.** **

****"Indeed, it is not a long time, Nicholas Ballard; however, I consider Daniel Jackson to be one of my greatest friends and it is an honour I value greatly," Teal'c replied.** **

****"I am pleased for Daniel," Nick said. "His work here is important?"** **

****Teal'c looked at Nick and bowed his head. "As Colonel O'Neill has said, Daniel Jackson made this place happen."** **

****"Made this place happen?" Nick said with a puzzled frown. "There is more here than meets the eye, is there not?"** **

****"Indeed there is," Teal'c acknowledged with a small bow of his head.** **

****Nick smiled and continued his slow walk, his keen eyes scanning left and right. "Are there vending machines here?"** **

****"Are you hungry, Nicholas Ballard?"** **

****Nick looked at Teal'c and smiled. "Indeed."** **

****"Then come this way," Teal'c said.** **

*************** **

****Jack knew he needed to sleep, but not yet. He couldn't get Daniel out of his mind. He glanced at his watch and grimaced. Hell, it wasn't even ten o'clock. He envied his teammates. Teal'c would no doubt lose himself in kel'no'reem and Carter, well, he shuddered to think what her bedtime reading was, but dollars to donuts it would occupy that technical mind of hers until she passed out in a state of bliss. But him? No way could he sleep when he didn't know where the hell Daniel was. Worse, he didn't even know if he was alive.** **

****_He's alive, damnit. I know he is. I can feel it. And Nick is the key. Nick and that damn skull._ ** **

****Seeing Nicholas Ballard had lifted Jack's spirits immensely. He might be a crazy old coot, but he was endearing in his way. Same way his grandson charmed him four years ago when he so blithely re-translated the experts' translations. Jack smiled at the memory.** **

****"We've come a long way, Daniel."** **

****"What?" Daniel said, jumping as Jack suddenly spoke. "Jack, can you hear me?" he asked hopefully. "No, of course you can't. For a second, I thought you were talking to me."** **

****Daniel eyed Jack closely and smiled sadly. "I guess maybe you were talking to me," he said wistfully.** **

*********** **

****Daniel followed Jack and he was not surprised when they ended up in the briefing room; it was the place to go when someone was missing. How many times had he stood and gazed down at the Stargate looking for answers?** **

****Jack made a bee-line for the coffee pot. One of the advantages of a twenty-four/seven facility was its constant supply of coffee. He really didn't want the stuff, but he thought he might feel a little closer to Daniel with a cup in his hand. He poured a mug of black liquid and sniffed it dubiously. He took a sip and grimaced.** **

****"You're lucky, Daniel. Stuff tastes like Siler stored his wrench in it."** **

****Daniel laughed and felt a flood of warmth wash through him. The mere fact Jack continued to talk as if he was present made him feel truly alive and missed.** **

****"Go easy on that stuff, Jack," Daniel murmured.** **

****Jack took another sip, swallowed and shook his head to clear it. "On second thought, make that Siler's socks," he muttered, setting the mug aside.** **

****"Wise move, Jack," Daniel snickered.** **

****Jack walked over to the observation window and stared out at the Stargate, Daniel at his shoulder.** **

****Daniel saw his reflection in the glass and his heart skipped a beat as he thought Jack might be able to see him.** **

****"Jack?" he whispered then sighed. Of course, he couldn't see him. No one could.** **

****"Daniel, where the hell are you?" Jack asked softly.** **

****"I'm here, Jack. I'm right here." Daniel's heart ached to hear the melancholy in his friend's voice. "I'm okay, Jack. I just seem to be out of phase or something."** **

****"No one gets left behind, Daniel. Remember that," Jack said quietly.** **

****Daniel's eyes welled with tears. "I will, Jack, but you have to listen to Nick. You have to tell him the truth," he said, reaching out and touching Jack's shoulder, dismayed to see his hand fall through thin air. "Listen to him, please."** **

****Daniel remained with Jack a few minutes more then turned away to leave him to his lonely vigil.** **

****Jack shivered and glanced around the empty briefing room. "Getting spooked in my old age," he muttered. He looked at his watch and sighed.** **

************** **

****Daniel leaned against the wall in the VIP room and stared at his grandfather. He hadn't changed much in the last four years, unlike himself. _I wish I could tell you what I've been doing, Nick. Contrary to popular belief, I haven't wasted my life._** **

****Nick's eyes grew moist as once again an image of his grandson appeared before him. Why, after all these years, Daniel started appearing, he didn't know, but he assumed it had to do with seeing Daniel's friends and being in the place where his grandson worked. That and guilt. A great deal of guilt.** **

****"I am sorry," Nick said sincerely.** **

****"For what?" Daniel replied automatically.** **

****"For not adopting you when your parents died."** **

****"You were travelling all over the world," Daniel said.** **

****"It wasn't your fault."** **

****"I was eight years old. How could it be my fault?" Daniel replied.** **

****"I am sorry for allowing my obsession to drive me to madness. Would you forgive me?" Nick asked, looking directly at Daniel.** **

****Daniel's heart skipped and he quickly approached Nick.** **

****"You can see me?"** **

****"Yes, Daniel, I can see you," Nick replied, smiling sadly.** **

*********** **

****After the initial surprise that his grandfather could see him, followed by annoyance at the old man's failure to acknowledge the fact much earlier, Daniel felt real hope. Nick was the key to bringing him back to his corporeal form. Now, all he had to do was convince Jack and the general. No, all he had to do was convince Jack, and his friend would do the rest if Hammond was reluctant; but after hearing the general talk to his granddaughter, Daniel didn't think Hammond would need too much convincing.** **

************ **

****It was easier than Daniel anticipated. Just telling Jack, 'don't be an ass', did the trick. Hammond was a little perturbed, of course, Nick knew of the Stargate, but once he accepted Daniel was actually there in front of them, he lost all misgivings and gave the go-ahead to return to P7X 377 with the crystal skull.** **

************ **

****Daniel trailed Jack and Nick as they headed to the gateroom, participating in their conversation about the skull.** **

****"And Daniel said you should come along to make it work?" Jack queried.** **

****"Wait, I never said that," Daniel said, looking at Nick sharply. "You're taking advantage of me."** **

****"Yes," Nick said emphatically.** **

****Daniel smiled and shook his head. How could he deny Nick the opportunity of a lifetime? Truth was, the idea of walking through the Stargate with his grandfather had Daniel tingling with anticipation.** **

****Daniel watched Nick's face light up in shock and amazement as the Stargate activated and established an event horizon.** **

****"So this is what you have been doing these past few years," Nick said, looking at Daniel.** **

****"Exploring planets," Daniel smiled.** **

****"Daniel, behind that is another world?" Nick queried, visibly moved. "You must tell me everything."** **

****"As soon as we get back. I promise." Daniel smiled. _God, there's so much I want to tell you. You'll never believe it._** **

************** **

****Daniel's excitement at the prospect of telling his grandfather of his exploits was short-lived. Instead, he watched incredulously as the giant alien invited Nick to stay and learn of their culture. Needless to say, Nick was beside himself with anticipation.** **

****"You just came back into my life," Daniel protested lightly.** **

****"I'll be back again. Please," Nick entreated.** **

****Daniel could not deny his grandfather and he smiled. "You will have to tell me everything."** **

****"I promise," Nick vowed and then placed his hands on Daniel's shoulders. "I am proud of you."** **

****Daniel thought his heart would burst and he smiled, holding back his tears. "Goodbye...Grandpa."** **

************** **

****Jack stood at a respectful distance and watched grandfather and grandson say goodbye to each other. He was elated Daniel had reconciled with Nick, but now his heart ached as his friend had to endure another separation. _Crap, they just got back together._** **

************* **

****Daniel's eyes swam with tears as he turned and walked away from his only living relative.** **

****A warm, strong hand settled on his nape and squeezed gently. No words were spoken as Daniel allowed Jack to lead him towards the crystal skull. Instinctively, Daniel turned his head to take one last look at his grandfather and Nick smiled and raised his hand in farewell. Daniel hesitated, and Jack squeezed gently and urged Daniel back towards the skull.** **

****"Let's go home, Daniel," he murmured.** **

****Daniel swallowed the hard lump in his throat and nodded, deriving comfort from Jack's touch.** **

************ **

****"Welcome back, Dr. Jackson," Hammond beamed, elated to see his civilian home safe and sound.** **

****"Thank you, sir. For everything," Daniel said sincerely.** **

****"Where's Dr. Ballard?" Hammond asked with a frown.** **

****"Having the time of his life," Daniel smiled wistfully.** **

****"He's playing with the giant aliens, sir," Jack said, none too helpfully.** **

****"I see," Hammond replied, looking at his second with mild reproach. "SG-1, we'll debrief in one hour."** **

****

************* **

****Jack closed the file he was working on and glanced at his watch. He'd done enough for one day. Now, he had to make sure his archaeologist quit for the day, too. Jack was damn sure Daniel wasn't going to get much sleep tonight, thanks to dear old Nick, but he also didn't want his friend bursting a blood vessel over work. As Daniel's commanding officer, but more importantly, his friend, Jack felt it was his duty to save Daniel from himself; if, God forbid, that meant getting Daniel to talk, then so be it.** **

************** **

****Daniel read the same lines of text over and over, but he couldn't grasp the meaning. Intuitively, he knew it wasn't a difficult translation, but ninety percent of his mind was occupied with Nick. He was thrilled for his grandfather, but he was also angry. Angry at Nick for leaving him again, and angry at himself for his selfishness.** **

****"Hey."** **

****Daniel glanced up, not really surprised to see Jack.** **

****"Hey," he murmured. "Heading home?"** **

****"Yeah. You?" Jack inquired.** **

****Daniel shrugged and looked at the array of open books on his desk.** **

****"They can wait," Jack said quietly. "Come on. Let's grab some take-out somewhere and go to my place."** **

****Daniel's eyes widened slightly. It had been a long time since Jack invited him over. He knew Jack was worried about him, but he also knew how much Jack hated 'talking'.** **

****"I'm okay, Jack," Daniel replied.** **

****"Of course, you are," Jack said. _Like hell. You're not made of stone._ "Even so, I wouldn't mind some company tonight."** **

****_Yeah, well maybe I would,_ Daniel thought, wincing inwardly at his callousness.** **

****"And I'm not just saying that because of, you know, Nick or anything," Jack said.** **

****"Of course not," Daniel replied dubiously.** **

****"Just so you know," Jack said. "So, you coming?"** **

****"Sure, why not?" Daniel said, pasting a false smile on his face. _It'll be a distraction if nothing else._** **

****"Great! Let's go," Jack said, motioning to the door.** **

****"What are we eating?" Daniel asked as he turned off his computer and study light.** **

****"Chinese?" Jack suggested.** **

****"You just want the leftovers," Daniel smiled and this time it was genuine.** **

****"Busted." Jack grinned.** **

************* **

****"Sure you've had enough?" Jack asked, eyeing the half-empty containers on the table.** **

****"I'm sure. The rest is yours," Daniel smiled.** **

****"Come to papa," Jack crooned, gathering up the numerous containers.** **

****"No fortune cookies?" Daniel asked, gazing around.** **

****"Oh, I forgot," Jack said, snatching the small bag off the counter. "Choose your weapon," he said, holding the bag under Daniel's nose.** **

****Daniel reached in an pulled out a cookie. He cracked it open, read his fortune then snorted.** **

****"That good?" Jack queried.** **

****"To every ending there is a beginning," Daniel quoted.** **

****"Kind of hokey," Jack said.** **

****"Yeah, kind of. What's yours?" Daniel asked.** **

****"Let's see," Jack said, mauling his cookie into fragments. "Your...oh, for crying out loud."** **

****"I doubt it says that," Daniel drawled. "Read it."** **

****Jack rolled his eyes then took a deep breath. "Your inner beauty will open many doors."** **

****Daniel held a straight face for all of two seconds then burst out laughing.** **

****"Yuk it up," Jack muttered," smiling in spite of himself. "While you're enjoying a giggle, why don't you make the coffee?"** **

****"Love to," Daniel snickered, wiping his eyes.** **

****Daniel quickly got the coffeemaker doing its thing. He cleaned off the counter-top, watching Jack out of the corner of his eye. Two hours they'd been together, and Jack had yet to mention Nick. In spite of Jack's earlier denial, Daniel knew the only reason he was here was because Jack was worried about his emotional well-being. Worried that losing Nick would send him scurrying into himself, or worse, over the edge. Daniel didn't know whether to feel annoyed or appreciative. A little bit of both, he supposed.** **

****Jack put the leftovers away, keenly aware of the silence between him and Daniel. _Damn it, this shouldn't be hard. If he wanted to talk about his grandfather, he'd bring it up, wouldn't he? Probably doesn't want to burden me. Shit. First Sha're, then her son, and now his grandfather. Oh, and let's not forget when I threw our friendship into his face. Crap._** **

****"I can help with the dishes."** **

****"What?" Jack said, startled from his thoughts.** **

****"The, uh, dishes?" Daniel said, pointing to the plates by the sink. "I'll wash them."** **

****"No, no, you go in and sit," Jack said. "I'll do them and bring the coffee in when it's ready."** **

****Daniel looked at Jack thoughtfully then nodded slowly. "Okay."** **

****Jack smiled, but his smile faded once Daniel left the kitchen. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck wearily. _I suck at this._** **

********** **

****Daniel sat on the couch and leaned back, his eyes gazing around the room. Jack's house was the first place that felt like home after he had to leave Abydos. Daniel closed his eyes and immediately saw the face of his beloved Sha're. He sighed and opened his eyes. He didn't want to think about his losses and that included his grandfather.** **

****"Damn it," he muttered, blinking back the stinging tears.** **

****"You okay?" Jack inquired, entering the room with two mugs of coffee.** **

****"I will be," Daniel murmured, smiling half-heartedly.** **

****Jack sat the mugs on the coffee table then sat in the chair opposite Daniel. _Just blurt it out, damn it._ "So, what do you think old Nick is up to?" ** **

****Daniel winced at the question. _Subtlety was never one of your strong points, Jack._** **

****"That is, if you, uh, want to, you know ... talk," Jack muttered.** **

****"That's why I'm here, isn't it?" Daniel replied, warming his hands on the mug.** **

****"Daniel..."** **

****"I have no idea what Nick is up to, but I hope it lives up to his expectations," Daniel said quickly.** **

****"Do you?" Jack asked, sipping his coffee.** **

****"What's that supposed to mean?" Daniel asked guardedly.** **

****"I'm just saying, this is the guy who abandoned you when you needed him most, and as soon as you reunite he leaves you again," Jack explained. _Way to be a bastard, O'Neill._** **

****Daniel's hands clenched his mug. "What are you trying to do, Jack?" he asked quietly.** **

****"I'm trying to get a reaction from you," Jack said truthfully.** **

****"Why? To see if I'm mentally or emotionally stable...if I'm fit to do my job?"** **

****"No, for crying out loud," Jack said flustered. "I'm just worried about you."** **

****"Don't be. I'm not the little orphan boy anymore," Daniel replied flippantly.** **

****"Crap, I knew I'd screw this up," Jack groaned, rubbing his forehead.** **

****Daniel sighed and put his mug down.** **

****"You're not screwing it up, Jack. I just...I don't know how I feel," Daniel admitted.** **

****"Damn it, Daniel. How the hell could he leave you again?" Jack asked angrily.** **

****Daniel smiled sadly at Jack's vehemence.** **

****"Jack," he said gently, "Nick checked himself into a psychiatric institution twenty years ago because he thought he was crazy to believe what he believed. God, twenty years. Can you imagine? He didn't belong in there any more than I did after Ma'chello's bug got into me."** **

****"Yeah," Jack murmured, trying not to think about Daniel in the padded room.** **

****"You heard what he said. 'Can you imagine what it feels like to go on the most incredible journey of your life and have no one believe you?'" Daniel quoted. "I know what it feels like to have no one believe you and it's...well, let's just say, I couldn't deny him his dream."** **

****"So, you're not angry with him?" Jack asked curiously.** **

****"No, no, I'm mad at him, but that's just me being selfish and petulant," Daniel shrugged. "Nick could no more not stay on P7X 377 then I could not have gone through the Stargate four years ago. I had no idea what to expect on the other side, but there was no way in hell I wasn't going to find out."** **

****"You could have gotten us all killed," Jack said quietly.** **

****"Yes, I could have," Daniel agreed. "Says a lot, doesn't it?"** **

****Jack stared at Daniel, not liking what he was intimating. "We're getting way off base here," he said, shaking his head.** **

****"Exactly what base are we supposed to be on?" Daniel asked.** **

****"The one where I make you feel better," Jack said.** **

****"Ah, that one. Well, I do feel better, Jack."** **

****Jack looked dubious and Daniel smiled. "Honest, I do. I didn't tell you, but Nick apologized for not adopting me."** **

****"He did?"** **

****"Yeah, he did, and he asked me to forgive him. Of course, he thought I was a hallucination, but I believe he was sincere," Daniel explained.** **

****"And did you?" Jack asked carefully.** **

****"Not at first. I was so shocked to realize he could see me," Daniel admitted. "But we talked and I forgave him. Actually, there wasn't anything to forgive. I was never his responsibility. Not really."** **

****"He was your grandfather," Jack said. "That carries responsibilities."** **

****"Yes, like playing and spoiling your grandchildren," Daniel replied. "Not raising them."** **

****"Why are you defending him?" Jack asked curiously.** **

****Daniel looked away and Jack frowned. "Oh, don't go there, Daniel."** **

****Daniel looked back and Jack shook his head. "You would not have done the same thing," he insisted. "You may share a similar passion as Nick, but it ends there."** **

****"Does it?" Daniel asked, desperately needing to believe.** **

****"Yes," Jack said emphatically.** **

****"I didn't keep Shar'e's," Daniel said.** **

****"No, you let him go to someone you knew could look after him and keep him safe," Jack said. "Letting go is a hell of a lot harder, Daniel. He was a direct link to Sha're, but you let him go. You did the right thing. Nick let you go to complete strangers because he didn't want you interfering with his damn search for giant aliens."** **

****"If Nick had adopted me, I probably wouldn't be here now," Daniel said.** **

****"Then none of us would," Jack shrugged, "and we're getting off base again. They said you used to be a regular visitor at the hospital."** **

****Jack watched in silence as Daniel stood up and walked over to the mantelpiece. He stared at the picture of Charlie and Sara.** **

****"I was," Daniel said quietly "Nick believed in aliens. Giant aliens. I wanted to believe him. He was my grandfather," he added softly.** **

****"Is, Daniel," Jack corrected gently.** **

****Daniel looked at Jack and smiled. "Is," he whispered. "Anyway, who was I to say other life didn't exist in the galaxy? Hell, I believed in alien life myself."** **

****"It's not something people generally stake their careers on," Jack said, "but you're both guilty of that."** **

****"We're stubborn," Daniel shrugged.** **

****"Well, it's kind of hard to deny anything after what we've seen," Jack admitted.** **

****"I know," Daniel nodded.** **

****Jack coughed and cleared his throat. "Which begs the question."** **

****"Why did I stop visiting my grandfather?" Daniel said.** **

****"That's the one," Jack said.** **

****"Well, there was the lack of money for one thing. Not to mention the huge fight we had the last time I visited. He basically told me I was wasting my life and was a laughing stock," Daniel said.** **

****"He didn't want you to end up like he did," Jack said.** **

****"Maybe," Daniel conceded. "Anyway, I stayed away to give us both some breathing space. I meant to go back, but then Catherine came along."** **

****"And you spent a year on another planet," Jack added.** **

****"Made it kind of hard to visit your grandfather in Oregon," Daniel said glibly. "Then...then I had my own grief to deal with," he added quietly.** **

****"Yeah," Jack murmured in sympathy.** **

****"Anyway," Daniel said, clearing his throat and waving his hand, "so much time passed, I figured he'd probably, well..."** **

****"Forgotten you?" Jack said incredulously.** **

****Daniel sat back down with a sigh. "I stood for everything he hated," he said. "I squandered my career and my parents' name, spouting my delusions."** **

****"Like hell," Jack grunted. "You believed in your convictions and the only reason Nick blew you off was because he didn't want you to end up in a mental institution. He missed you, Daniel. A lot."** **

****Daniel winced. "I know," he whispered.** **

****"Did you inquire about his health?" Jack asked.** **

****"Of course I did. What kind of selfish bastard do you think I am?" Daniel shot back.** **

****Jack merely stared and Daniel slumped into the couch. "I told his doctors I was working out of the country and couldn't visit. Damn it, Jack, how could I face him? How could I sit there and not believe him when I knew aliens existed. I married one, for God's sake. I couldn't lie to him."** **

****"Why did you lie to me?" Jack asked.** **

****"What?" Daniel asked in surprise.** **

****"You told me your grandfather worked in museums all over the world and you never knew where he was," Jack said.** **

****"If I told the military my grandfather was in a psychiatric facility because he believed he saw giant aliens, do you think I'd be on SG-1 today?" Daniel queried.** **

****Jack reached for his coffee and took a deep gulp. "I didn't ask why you lied to the military. I asked why you lied to me," he clarified.** **

****Daniel looked like he'd been slapped and he ducked his head. "I don't know," he sighed. "Because it just seemed easier, I suppose."** **

****"Easier," Jack repeated.** **

****"I didn't exactly fit in," Daniel said, looking up. "I know General Hammond wasn't too thrilled with my presence, never mind my existence, but you went out on a limb to get me on SG-1."** **

****"He wasn't too thrilled with me, either. Hell, I lied to both General West and Hammond," Jack stated.** **

****"To protect the Abydonians," Daniel said.** **

****"And you," Jack added. "Seemed like the right thing to do at the time."** **

****"Would you do it again?"** **

****"In a heartbeat," Jack replied.** **

****Daniel smiled and stared down at his mug, idly twirling it in his hands.** **

****"Daniel, I've seen you butt heads with authority. Crap, you do it all the time to me," Jack said. "I don't see why you couldn't confide-"** **

****"I didn't want you to think any less of me," Daniel murmured.** **

****"Say what?" Jack frowned.** **

****Daniel looked up and flashed an embarrassed half-smile. "Like grandfather, like grandson?"** **

****Jack stared, slack jawed. "For crying out loud, Daniel," he said gruffly, but Daniel had a point, and as much as Jack was loathe to acknowledge it, he likely would have looked at Daniel differently had he been told there was a history of mental illness. He didn't even want to think of how they would have handled the whole Ma'chello thing. That had been a horror show in its own right and Jack shuddered at the thought of what McKenzie would have done had he been aware of Daniel's family history.** **

****Abruptly, Jack stood up and disappeared into the kitchen.** **

****_Nothing like putting your host on the spot,_ Daniel thought glumly. He glanced at his watch. It was late. He'd thank Jack for the dinner and take his leave. Things were getting too intense.** **

****"And don't even think about leaving!" Jack shouted from the kitchen.** **

****Daniel plunked back down on the couch. "Wouldn't dream of it," he muttered.** **

****"Here, drink this. Slowly," Jack ordered, placing a glass in front of Daniel.** **

****Daniel stared at the heavy cut crystal then up at Jack.** **

****"Irish whiskey. It's smooth. Not guaranteed to cure what ails you, but it comes pretty damn close," Jack said.** **

****"Um, that means..."** **

****"Yep," Jack smiled** **

****Daniel looked back at the whiskey. There was an unspoken rule in Jack's house when it came to Daniel and the hard stuff: Daniel stayed the night.** **

****"You going to drink it?" Jack asked.** **

****Daniel picked up the glass and sniffed its contents cautiously. He took a tentative sip and swallowed, grimacing slightly.** **

****"Smooth," he said, coughing.** **

****Jack smiled and sat down with his own drink. "The first sip's always the hardest."** **

****Daniel nodded, placed his glass down and wrapped his arms around his chest. "I'm afraid I'll never see him again," he said softly. "I don't even know if he's on medication. What if he-"** **

****"Come on, you were at the de-briefing," Jack said. "Hammond said he'd let us go back in a few weeks to check on Nick. Besides, we need to know more about those giant aliens. They are enemies of the Goa'uld, after all."** **

****"Enemy of my enemy is my friend," Daniel said softly.** **

****"Exactly, but right now your enemy is guilt. Take another swig," Jack ordered.** **

****"Whiskey is my friend?" Daniel queried with raised eyebrows.** **

****"You always were a quick learner," Jack grinned.** **

****Daniel picked up his glass and took a healthy swallow.** **

****"I thought-I thought you said the first sip was the hardest," he gasped.** **

****"Sip, not guzzle," Jack frowned.** **

****"Should my nostrils be burning?" Daniel coughed.** **

****"Only if you inhaled at the same time," Jack explained.** **

****"I always inhale when I drink," Daniel said.** **

****"Well, there's your problem," Jack laughed. "This isn't coffee, Danny-boy."** **

****"You're telling me," Daniel muttered.** **

****"Do you want to try mine?" Jack offered.** **

****"Um, no thanks," Daniel said. "I'm good."** **

****The two men sat in silence for a few minutes and then Jack sat forward.** **

****"There's something I've been meaning to ask," he said, swishing the golden liquid around in his glass.** **

****"Go ahead," Daniel said curiously.** **

****"You were in Oregon with us, right?"** **

****"Yes."** **

****"So, the plane and everything," Jack said, waving his fingers.** **

****"Uh, ye-es," Daniel said.** **

****"Okay and you were in Hammond's office, obviously," Jack continued.** **

****Daniel smiled, knowing where this was going.** **

****"Well, I was just wondering if you were ever with me...at any time...alone, kind of...sort of," Jack said, fumbling for words.** **

****"Yes, I was," Daniel replied.** **

****"You were?"** **

****"Does that surprise you?" Daniel asked. "I was alone with Teal'c, too."** **

****"Oh. Carter?"** **

****"Uh, no. That didn't seem appropriate," Daniel said. "Not that I'd ever, you know..."** **

****"No, of course not," Jack agreed.** **

****"Funny, I don't remember that scar," Daniel frowned.** **

****"What scar?" Jack queried.** **

****"The one on your ass," Daniel said.** **

****"I don't have...you saw me naked?" Jack cried.** **

****Daniel laughed and picked up his glass. "Jack, I see you naked all the time. It's not likely I'd go out of my way to see you naked while invisible."** **

****"So you didn't?" Jack asked, arching his eyebrow.** **

****"No, I didn't."** **

****"Okay. It's just a little unsettling knowing you were around all the time," Jack said.** **

****"You thought it was unsettling? How do you think I felt?" Daniel asked.** **

****"At least you knew you were okay...sort of," Jack countered. "We didn't know what the hell happened to you."** **

****"I know. I'm sorry for worrying you," Daniel said sincerely.** **

****"It's not like you had a choice," Jack said dismissively.** **

****"I was in the briefing room," Daniel said.** **

****"What?" Jack asked, puzzled.** **

****"The coffee that tasted like Siler's socks?" Daniel replied.** **

****"I knew I felt something that night. That was you," Jack said.** **

****"Maybe," Daniel shrugged. "I like to think my presence was felt."** **

****"Well, your absence sure the hell was," Jack said.** **

****Daniel felt his cheeks flush, and he knew it wasn't from the alcohol. "Thanks for worrying."** **

****Jack took another drink and set his glass down. "I know you think you're only here because of Nick," he said. "I'll admit, that's part of it, but you're also here because you scared the hell out of me. I didn't know what happened to you, Daniel. I didn't know if you were hurt, in danger, or even alive. I've felt those things too many damn times."** **

****"I'm sorry," Daniel said quietly.** **

****"I'm not looking for an apology, Daniel," Jack said. "I know we've had some rough patches, but I don't want you thinking you're not important to me. I guess what I'm trying to say is: you're my friend. Hell, you're my best friend and I missed you." _Crap, I can't believe I actually said all that._** **

****Daniel stared at Jack, awed by the frank admission.** **

****"I-I-I can't tell you what it means to me to hear you say that, Jack."** **

****Jack shrugged and waved his hand dismissively.** **

****"Look, I know you hate this stuff, and because you're my best friend," Daniel said, smiling shyly, "I'll get right to the point."** **

****"The point?" Jack queried.** **

****"I'm happy to be back, but I'm even happier to be here," Daniel said.** **

****"Is it getting warm and fuzzy in here?" Jack asked, his eyes shining.** **

****"It's probably the whiskey," Daniel said sagely.** **

****"Must be," Jack agreed. "Another drink?" he asked, standing up.** **

****"I haven't finished this one. Oh, what the hell," Daniel said, downing the remaining liquid with a grimace and handing his glass to Jack. "I'm not going anywhere."** **

****"Back in a sec," Jack grinned.** **

****Daniel sat back with a contented sigh. Jack was right. Nick will come home and tell him everything and Daniel will tell him everything. They'll talk for days, weeks and months, and poor Jack will be beside himself with boredom.** **

****"Here you go. I'll make an Irishman out of you yet," Jack smiled, handing Daniel his glass. "To Nick."** **

****"And to us," Daniel said, hitting his glass against Jack's with a resounding clink.** **

****"I'll drink to that," Jack grinned.** **

****Daniel smiled. His grandfather was where he wanted and needed to be, and Daniel was where he wanted and needed to be. Life was pretty damn good.** **

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